Is there something you’ve been needing to do but keep putting off? Perhaps for weeks, months, or even years? It’s a normal human experience. This past Fall, I began orthodontic work, including getting dental braces—something I’ve been putting off for over a decade. Am I loving the process? Nope. Does it feel good to be taking action and no longer be stuck in indecision? You bet.
Change is difficult. Our minds and bodies tend to find comfort and stability in routine. Even when we know a change might be good for us, taking action is often not easy. Doing something different involves leaving the comfort of predictability and entering the unknown. This junction is also where anxiety often shows up, presenting all the possible scenarios of what could go wrong. Our minds can become busy finding reasons to “put it off” to avoid any anticipated discomfort.
According to the Transpersonal Theory of Change (co-created by Abraham Maslow and Stanislav Grof in the late 1960s) there are several identifiable stages we move through when approaching change. Knowing where you are in the change process can reduce avoidance and help you be both mindful and accountable for your choices. You do not need to speed through these stages. Instead, recognize where you are, appreciate the progress you’ve made, and be honest about what is preventing you from moving forward.
Here are the five stages of change with some personal examples from my own process:
Precontemplation
In this stage, there is no intent to change. There may be denial that a problem even exists, with an emphasis on the cons of change. Example: Around 15 years ago, I noticed my teeth seemed different. I convinced myself that either I was imagining it or, if it was happening, it didn’t really matter.
Contemplation
Here, there is some awareness that change is needed. While not yet ready to begin, there is acknowledgement of the possible benefits of change. There is ambivalence. Example: In 2015, I went for a consultation with an orthodontist. I was intimidated and anxious about the discomfort, cost, and duration of what was needed. I chose not to do anything.
Preparation
In this stage, there is awareness and acknowledgment that change would be beneficial. The individual begins making plans to start change in the near future. Example: Ten years later, my teeth were periodically hurting, my bite was misaligned, and things were clearly worse. I made an appointment to start the process and took a few weeks to prepare.
Action
This is when action takes place and new healthy behaviors are implemented. Example: I got my braces!
Maintenance
In maintenance, the individual has sustained the change for a period of time (usually at least six months) and plans to continue. The focus of this stage is preventing relapse. Example: I am focused on keeping up with a new dental routine and engaging in healthy activities to keep my focus off of the discomfort.
Termination
While this stage does not always occur, it refers to when there is no longer a desire to return to the old behavior.
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We all find ways to delay or avoid change at some point in our lives. Sometimes the consequences of delaying action are more serious than others. For example, putting off a new house cleaning routine will likely not have the same risk as putting off important changes for your mental or physical health. The truly important changes that will bring better overall health and quality of life are worth the effort. They are worth the discomfort and uncertainty because of the benefits they bring to our lives.
If you are having trouble taking the next steps toward positive change in your life, reach out to the people who support and care about you. Tell them why this change is important and ask them to help support you. A sense of community makes change more accessible. Maybe you have a friend willing to embark on their own change process alongside you. Practicing gentle accountability with another helps to stay committed to the goal. If you are stuck or feel frozen, reaching out for professional help can also provide a way to get you moving again. Therapy can help you gain clarity and develop skills so that you feel capable of making change.
Whatever method of support you choose, remember that positive change is possible!
Jennifer Barzey is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker #65681 who provides in-person therapy services in Chico, CA and telehealth sessions for clients throughout California. Jennifer is an integrative practitioner trained in EMDR, Somatics, Internal Family Systems and Nutrition for Mental Health.
To find our more or to request an appointment with Jennifer, visit www.jenniferbarzeylcsw.com
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